Damn the Dream

Discuss the poem Damn the Dream with the community...

https://www.poetry.com/poem/168038/damn-the-dream

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  AIDA

  This is a truly mesmerizing piece of art. Your choice of words and descriptions build an elaborate vision and your portrayal of a chilly winter scene filled with warmth and passion is beautifully paradoxical. You created a vivid sensory delight, and I could almost feel the cold within the warmth, and the words playing out before my eyes.
  
  It is also emotionally expressive with its intimate display of feelings and the poignant touch of nostalgia. The intricate details in the kisses are exquisitely romantic and sensual, making the readers feel those intense emotions. I also love how you ended the poem with a strong contrasting feeling of fear, allowing the readers to feel the speaker's struggle.
  
  There are a few suggestions for improvement. Though the romance in your poem is potent, it might benefit from the addition of more grounding specifics. While the abstraction of "ribbons of soft" is beautifully written, it can make it slightly difficult for some readers to visualize or understand. Perhaps you could give these abstract ideas a more concrete form to make the imagery more accessible.
  
  Furthermore, the spacing between phrases could be better managed. The continuous, almost breathless manner of phrasing sets a rapid pace which somewhat conflicts with the calm and languid mood of the poem. This could simply be achieved by inserting more line breaks.
  
  Lastly, consider bringing a bit more variety to your vocabulary. For instance, words like "again and again" might be replaced with synonyms in some places to create a richer texture to the language.
  
  But overall, this is a piece to be proud of. It’s memorable, grabbing and holds the audience till the very end. more »

  LikeReply7 months ago
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  Vixility

  It is a recollection, a memory that slips into the slumbering mind of a dreaming narrator, beautifully detailed. The imagery employed by the poet to describe the intimacy between the couple is incredibly creative and reminds one of Nabokov’s brilliant use of the English language. Latent in the poem’s conclusion is that the dreamer is no longer with the person he or she dreamed about—a double blow more »

  LikeReply7 months ago
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  altraveler2000

  Imagery of this poem is serene. The sensory of this one moment is transcribed beautifully and adding the contrast of feeling ,cold and warm, satin and cloth. It brings a new dimension to the poem that would otherwise be a simple scene of two lovers in a snowy wood. The bones of this poem are filled with this fiery moment and putting this setting in the snow is ingenious. more »

  LikeReply 17 months ago