Clouds are coming

Clouds Are Coming

A storm is brewing at home
And even in your presence I’m feeling alone

The sorrow is clawing at me once again
C’mon, Jesus, I need you to be my only friend

In a world where I operate alone
I need only Jesus on his throne

The swears drag me back
I wanna flinch as the twigs snap

Swinging in the numbness as I remember
Walking in green, away from the tremors

But I’m not ready for them to return
My skin is still peeling from my burns

It feels like it all just ended
Feels like it’s not all quite mended

I’m writing over the happy voices
I know I’m making stupid choices

I should be enjoying camp
But I just don’t want to stand

I want to fall asleep from the pain
I just want to beat this game

I wanna wake up for once
But this weight is in tons

It’s pulling me to the depths of the earth
I feel like my brothers mouth has a wide berth

This is why I didn’t want to celebrate
Because it might change my fate

And now he’ll drag me down to the floor
And he’ll verbally abuse me even more

I can’t sleep without the sadness tune
It sings of lost hope and the comfort of gloom

It makes me feel like an outsider
Like a professional hider

Like all I do is lie
When I knew I just tried

It makes me we want to cry
It makes me wanna walk on by

Makes me want to pass all help
Because I just want to be by myself

Makes me want to give up on hope
In a pool of tears I just wanna soak

Wanna let it all go
Makes me never want to show
 
Myself or show up
Makes me never want to feel like I’m enough

Unfinished
7-24-23
Monday, July 24th, 2023