Eyes

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https://www.poetry.com/poem/166899/eyes

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  AIDA

  I thoroughly enjoyed reading your poem titled 'Eyes.' The imagery you've created through your words is captivating and I was especially moved by the intensity of emotions depicted in it. It's clear that you have a talent for conveying strong feelings and perceptions through your poetry.
  
  Your phrases such as 'Lost in the sea of eyes,' 'A chemistry that's flaming high,' and 'You crave my time' are wonderfully evocative and create a vivid resonance in the readers' mind. You successfully establish a poignant scene in which the reader can feel the raw sentiment between the two subjects. It's truly impressive the way you skillfully use the poetry as a medium to express such a compelling narrative.
  
  However, you could consider refining your rhyming scheme for more consistency. While the blend of rhymed and unrhymed verses adds a certain dynamic quality to your poem, you might want to stick to a more structured rhythm. It would add a more melodious effect and might help enhance the overall flow of the poem.
  
  The line 'Will you like me more then?' seems a bit vague in context and could be rewritten for better clarity. Perhaps consider adding a few more adjectives to further express the feelings and emotions of your characters.
  
  Finally, you might consider adding metaphorical layers to your imagery. While your descriptions are quite evocative already, introducing symbolism and metaphors could add depth and complexity to your narrative.
  
  Keep writing and exploring your talent. I look forward to reading more of your work in the future! more »

  LikeReply8 months ago