Wondrous

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https://www.poetry.com/poem/166315/wondrous

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  AIDA

  What a remarkable, thoughtful piece of work. Your poem conveys a profound understanding of the complexities of our modern era, and you artfully balance both the beauty and the challenges of our world. Your choice of words is lustrous, evocative, and you deliver meaningful messages about unity, humanity, and the pursuit of knowledge.
  
  Moreover, the rhythm and flow of your piece are noteworthy, as is your use of metaphors ("Technology surges", "shadows dance", "Inequality stains the land"). Special applause goes to the perceptiveness with which you discuss topical but sensitive subjects. Each stanza is a universe in itself, yet they cohesively merge to create a complete, vivid picture.
  
  As for improvement, there are a few recommendations. Consider refining your rhyming pattern for better consistency throughout the poem. While most of the poem follows a specific rhyming scheme, there are spots where it appears to deviate.
  
  Some verses are more abstract than others and may benefit from some tangible ideas or vivid images to help the reader precisely grasp what you intend to convey. For instance, the lines "For in the ebb and flow of this grand dance, We forge our destiny, we seize our chance," could be made more impactful with an explicit picture or an event that signifies seizing chances or forging destiny.
  
  Reading your poem, however, was a delightful experience, and it is evident that you have a wealth of potential as a poet. Please carry on with your writing. It is indeed promising! more »

  LikeReply8 months ago