Window Pain

Mirrors don’t always show the me
I would like to see
They don’t cut off the few bad decisions
Which led me to where I’m “meant to be”
But this?
The rattle of the trailer
The strange cushioning beneath my feet?
These aren’t things I’m proud of
It’s just in the pursuit of beauty
That doesn’t make it right though
It makes me sad
The alarm doesn’t wash away the pain
Nor does the hundreds of shots
They’ll search meticulously
One perfect smirk
One ideal size
At some point this has to stop
It’s threatening lives
The alarm reminds me again of the time
And I look at who I’d like to be
Not a blessing but a curse is beauty
Forced to fit ideals
Splayed across TV
Sexualized
Idealized
Tears come to My eyes
Imagining this…
Atrophy
Wasting away for fame
In good times, mere points
In some bigger game
A giant game of monopoly
Whoever has all the beautiful people
Has all the money
I am sorry and I want to free you
But the padding isn’t for my fall
It’s for you should you lose your ground in reality
I want nothing more than to be your padding
Someone to help you
Someone who sees
But mirrors don’t show perfect people
And it’s not through a mirror
Which you look back at me