Dear Mother, Im trying

She called me a disappointment again
Guess that means I have to try harder
I don’t think she understands
I am trying
I’m starving myself
I cry to sleep
I don’t want to be here anymore
I want to escape
but I know if I will
She’ll hate me more
I asked her why she does
Hate me that is
She screamed and screamed
At some point, I stopped listening
I understand though
If I had an ugly daughter
 I’d hate her too
If my daughter was lazy
I’d hate her too
If was daughter was fat
I’d call her a disappointment too
I never thought these things were true
But if my own mother said it
It must
That’s why
I’ll try to look my best
at all times
I’ll only sleep two hours every day
Even if it kills me
I’ll drop down to 48kg
And then I’ll lose weight
When I’ll accomplish all these things,
Then I’ll ask her what she thinks of me