Confession



Confession

I want to live again,
I want to dream that
Dream of perfection,
To fashion a life beyond
What is real, what is possible,
To make castles in the air,
An ideal fantasy where I
Play the handsome hero,
Where I battle fearsome
Demons and win the day,
I want to have the glory
And the grace, but still
Be humble and, oddly,
Well dressed, coiffed
And absent any and
All faults that mar the
Image of myself.

In other words,
Something’s wrong,
Something conflicts,
Spoils the soup,
The fly in the ointment,
A foul odor, a stench,
A distorted funhouse mirror,
Reflects a monstrous image,
A fractured face,
A crooked smile,
And screwed up eyes,
In other words,
The reason I dream
Of fairytale fantasies.

About this poem

I fantasize about the past more as a form of entertainment and not out of dissatisfaction or regret, although I would like to revisit some decisions I made. I sense a real tension between who I am and who I was, specifically, what I did in the Vietnam war.

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Written on February 20, 2022

Submitted by on July 24, 2023

45 sec read
8

Quick analysis:

Scheme xxxxxxxxxxaxaxxxx BxxxxxxxxxxBxx
Closest metre Iambic trimeter
Characters 709
Words 151
Stanzas 2
Stanza Lengths 17, 14

Karl Michel

My service in the Vietnam War has shaped my life in significant ways. For one thing, it led me to becoming an artist as a means of dealing with the emotional trauma I experienced there. My visual art and poetry share the same intuitive connection to the war. Most poems begin with a first line I hear in my head. After that, I try to stay out of the way and let the poem develop unimpeded by too many meddling thoughts. It's as if I'm just the conduit, the means of delivering the message. And the message is often one that speaks to my struggle to reclaim emotions and to find meaning. more…

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