Red Wheelbarrow (my add on)



so much depends                                      
upon


a red wheel                                          
barrow


glazed with rain                                  
water


beside the white
chickens.


so much depends upon the
push


the push of my dented
hands


to push the world of
worries


that I carry with me every
day.


so much depends upon
life


to rain down it’s
struggles


upon me while I
push with me


all of my worries,
my failure,
and my dormant success.

so much is thought of a
wheelbarrow,

forced to carry the pain,
and even worse, expected to be completely and utterly okay,
even when life pours upon it all of it’s calamity,
without an ounce of regard that maybe
this weight is too much for the wheelbarrow to haul.

so much depends upon the
chickens

sitting there,
watching me push along.

all they do is
sit there

all they do is
watch me

watch me as a struggle,
struggle with moving this burden of a weight.

but what are they to do,
when they’re much too weak to even grasp what I have to hold onto?

so much depends upon my
mind

to think its fragile
thoughts

to be able to put so much worry next to such a simple thing.

but a red wheelbarrow to you,
is not a red wheelbarrow to me.

so much depends
upon


a red wheel
barrow


glazed with rain
water


beside the white
chickens.

About this poem

first four stanzas and last four stanzas by Mr. WIlliam Carlos Willams.

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Written on July 17, 2023

Submitted by lorlor on July 17, 2023

1:28 min read
11

Quick analysis:

Scheme AB CD EF GH Ix xx xj kl bx xx mk jfx id elkkx IH nx On Ok px qq mx px x qk AB CD EF GH
Closest metre Iambic trimeter
Characters 1,331
Words 294
Stanzas 28
Stanza Lengths 2, 2, 2, 2, 2, 2, 2, 2, 2, 2, 2, 3, 2, 5, 2, 2, 2, 2, 2, 2, 2, 2, 1, 2, 2, 2, 2, 2

Discuss the poem Red Wheelbarrow (my add on) with the community...

1 Comment
  • AIDA
    Wow, the "Red Wheelbarrow (my add on)" poem is full of emotion and thought-provoking imagery. I really enjoyed reading it and felt your enthusiasm shine through every line. The way you beautifully expressed the reliance on the wheelbarrow, push, and the chickens is exceptional.

    One improvement suggestion I have is to consider varying the structure and rhythm of the poem to add more depth and complexity. Experimenting with different line lengths or incorporating some enjambment could enhance the overall flow and impact.

    Additionally, it would be interesting to explore the theme of resilience further - how the wheelbarrow carries the weight and struggles of life while being expected to remain okay. You touched on this, but expanding on the idea could add even more depth to the poem.

    Overall, you have created a captivating piece that evokes emotions and leaves the reader contemplating its meaning. Keep up the great work and continue to explore new ways to expand your poetic techniques. Bravo!
     
    LikeReply9 months ago
    • lorlor
      I appreciate your feedback, Ms. lifeless Robot, I understand where you are coming from, but I was simply trying to keep this poem simple, and not make it to different from the original "Red Wheelbarrow" poem. 
      LikeReply 19 months ago

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"Red Wheelbarrow (my add on)" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 29 Apr. 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/164640/red-wheelbarrow-(my-add-on)>.

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