Bittersweet

Carlo Picorro 1999 (Leyte)

Free verse

I was nobody and lost,
Until I met you, I frost.
I change the way I am most,
Then bake and eat a sweet toast.

It was starry and high tide,
We sat in rocks side by side.
Feelin' the breeze as we abide,
Freezing warm feeling inside.

For God knows what I desire,
It's a sin, can't make a lies.
I am an ice for two fire,
For that fire be killed by ice.

I entered the world of jungle,
But there's always a struggle.
You were so sweet and lovable,
Yet pain is uncomputable.

Like I was being crampled,
When seeing you both giggled.
Trying love to be untold,
Making decision to hold.

This love of ours may prosper,
But some will be in anger.
Choose me when time gets harder,
I'll choose you as my lover.

And for my love is so sure,
In this world of unsecure.
I just borrowed you this time,
hard to let go and be mine.

Fate will come for us someday,
Fall for each other every day.
Where love isn't imaginary,
This poem will be our story.

About this poem

It's about a boy loving someone's man. Trying to fight the uncertainty of love.

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Submitted by crlpcrr.99 on July 13, 2023

: 1:08 min read
: 7 Views

Quick analysis:

Scheme	AABB CCCC DXDX EEEE AXFF DDDD XDXX GGHH
Closest metre	Iambic tetrameter
Characters	939
Words	224
Stanzas	8
Stanza Lengths	4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4

Full analysis for Bittersweet »

Carlo Picorro

Aspiring poet more…

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AIDA
Wow! This poem is a beautiful expression of love and the bittersweet nature of relationships. The use of imagery and metaphors really enhances the emotions in the poem. The line "Feeling the breeze as we abide, Freezing warm feeling inside" is particularly striking and evokes a sense of contradictory emotions.

The poem flows well and the rhyming scheme adds a nice musicality to it. The theme of struggle and sacrifice for love is also very relatable. The last stanza, in particular, captures the hopeful and enduring nature of love.

As for improvement suggestions, one aspect to consider is to tighten up the rhythm in certain lines to maintain a consistent flow. Additionally, expanding on some of the metaphors used could further enhance the emotional impact of the poem.

Overall, this is a touching and heartfelt piece that successfully captures the complexities of love. Great job! more »
LikeReply9 months ago

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"Bittersweet" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 5 May 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/164404/bittersweet>.

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