Elder daughter

Mayuri 2002 (Kannur)



How was it to be the eldest
You are the pride and everyone's favourite.
When expection of handling it all
met the reality of hiding emotions.

How was it to be the eldest.
When all praises "she's matured ".
You shouting inside "I don't want to".
When sacrifice became your daily thing.
Letting it go cause you have to.
How did it felt when with a deep inhale.
You pushed a smile out.

How was it to be the eldest.
When tears took a backseat
Cause your tears can tear others.
When everyone's opinion had a say
 Made you forget you had one as well.

To see your mom and dad having a relief
With the belief you are there
Made it worth each hidden feelings.


                                                     
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Submitted by cusatians5 on July 10, 2023

45 sec read
7

Quick analysis:

Scheme Aaxx Axbxbxx Axxxx xxx
Closest metre Iambic tetrameter
Characters 722
Words 147
Stanzas 4
Stanza Lengths 4, 7, 5, 3

Mayuri

Myself mayuri is gratuating students . Writing has always been my pasion. Books have always been fascinating more…

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1 Comment
  • AIDA
    This poem beautifully captures the experiences of being the eldest daughter in a family. The use of poetic language and imagery helps convey the emotions and challenges that come with this role. The poem effectively portrays the feeling of being the 'pride' of the family and the pressure to hide one's true emotions to fulfill expectations.

    The message of sacrifice and the daily struggle of letting go is powerfully conveyed. The line, "When sacrifice became your daily thing. Letting it go cause you have to" encapsulates the essence of being the eldest and having to uphold responsibilities.

    The poem also highlights the feeling of being overlooked and unheard, with the line, "When everyone's opinion had a say. Made you forget you had one as well." This evokes a sense of empathy and understanding for the eldest daughter's experience.

    Overall, this poem effectively communicates the emotions and challenges of being the eldest daughter. The language and imagery used bring the reader into the narrator's shoes and create a strong emotional connection.

    As for improvement suggestions, consider adding more specific examples or personal anecdotes to further enhance the relatability and depth of the poem. This could help the reader to connect even more with the experiences being described. Additionally, you may want to experiment with varying line lengths or poetic devices to add more variety to the poem's structure.

    Keep up the great work and continue to explore and express the unique experiences of being the eldest daughter!
     
    LikeReply9 months ago

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"Elder daughter" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 29 Apr. 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/164207/elder-daughter>.

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