How it is

I gave into my cravings today I let people do what they want and I let myself do what I craved for so long as I carved lines into my body with an old sharpener razor I always wanted to fight the urge but when people say ‘ relapsing is just apart of healing’ I feel like that’s bs as it just continues till it ends up as scars form on the arms, legs, thighs and shoulders it becomes permanent and not easy to fade away it always lets someone know what you did and how awful about what was done to you and what made you do it in the first place it always makes me feel like I failed to be a normal human for a day I always trail back to the craving of the pain thinking that’s what I deserve for it, but I don’t. As because some girl decided that I was her little toy to mess around with whenever she liked or felt like it.