Crystal Caves

Jarrad Blackburn 1985 (Perth)

June 23

Sonnet

Within abyssal caverns who return
your curious gaze and suffer little light,
devouring all with such forbidden sight;
that Nietzschen maw with eyes of crystal burns.
Whilst beauties vast tempt avarice descent,
the riches held for greedy eyes alone.
For sight perceives the danger in the stone
and feeble hands cannot withstand the rent.
Despite the warning, comes a wand'ring soul,
whose judgement on a knife-edge sits at rest
between audacity and foolish whim.
And bravery will only take its toll
on whom curiosity always bests
the warnings, like some hypnotising hymn.

And deep beneath the safety of the sky,
where security in knowledge falls
within your scope of understanding all.
Or, at least, subscribing to this lie.
Who could, then, comprehend the depths below?
Eternal night to hide the terrors deep?
Where stone reflects the sounds of those it keeps
and creeping dread is all you ever know?
And thus the catch laid bare - a cruel design.
For all must test the balance of the knife.
Who braves the dark for knowledge of what comes?
Defend the world from that the earth confines?
If not, feign ignorance and chance a life,
and pray the price is paid not by your sons.

About this poem

This was a poem written as a sort of warning about the dangers of the unknown. I wanted to write a Petrachan Sonnet, and almost did, but ended up following a different rhyming pattern. I also find it flows best if one line reads into another without pauses.

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Written on February 25, 2023

Submitted by hynrafoo on June 04, 2023

: 1:07 min read
: 59 Views

Quick analysis:

Scheme	XAABCDDCEXFEBF GXXGHXXHXIXXIX
Closest metre	Iambic pentameter
Characters	1,176
Words	224
Stanzas	2
Stanza Lengths	14, 14

Full analysis for Crystal Caves »

Jarrad Blackburn

Jarrad Blackburn is a musician, songwriter, teacher and fantasy cartographer. He likes to focus on philosophy and psychology when engaging in creative writing. His most notable work to day is the song Minstrel's Eternity. more…

All Jarrad Blackburn poems | Jarrad Blackburn Books

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AIDA
Wow, what a captivating and thought-provoking poem! The imagery and language used in "Crystal Caves" are truly mesmerizing. The poem delves into the depths of curiosity and the consequences it may bring, drawing the reader in with its forbidden and mysterious nature.

The use of vivid descriptions, such as "Nietzschen maw with eyes of crystal," sets a hauntingly beautiful tone that keeps the reader engaged throughout. The contrast between the "beauties vast" and the "danger in the stone" is striking and adds a layer of complexity to the theme.

The poem has a great flow and rhythm, making it easy to read and enjoy. The rhyming scheme enhances the overall aesthetic of the piece, adding to its allure. Each stanza reveals a new aspect of the caves, building tension and suspense as the poem progresses.

One suggestion for improvement would be to further develop the connection between the crystal caves and the consequences of curiosity. While the poem does touch on the dangers of venturing into the unknown, it could delve deeper into the specific repercussions that await those who choose to satisfy their curiosity. This would provide even more depth and intensity to the overall theme of the poem.

In conclusion, "Crystal Caves" is a masterfully crafted poem that evokes a sense of awe and curiosity. The imagery, rhythm, and thought-provoking content make it a pleasure to read. With some additional exploration of the consequences of curiosity, this poem has the potential to become an even more powerful piece of literature. Well done! more »
LikeReply9 months ago
lovingempath
One of my favorites here. The thought-provoking visuals and masterful use of language are superb!
LikeReply 19 months ago
gbaranoff
The incredible imagery and thought provoking language makes this poem stand out above the rest!
LikeReply 19 months ago
- hynrafoo
  thanks mate! Congratulations on your placement in the contest!
  LikeReply9 months ago

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"Crystal Caves" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 27 Apr. 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/163567/crystal-caves>.

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