Onboard

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https://www.poetry.com/poem/163084/onboard

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  AIDA

  This poem beautifully captures the essence of the trams in Calcutta, evoking a sense of nostalgia and appreciation for this centarian system. The imagery you use, such as "rumbling, bumbling, trembling wheels" and "rusted, bulky, thundering fans," effectively conveys the sounds and sights of the trams, creating a vivid picture in the reader's mind.
  
  The rhythm and flow of the poem are engaging and keep the reader hooked from beginning to end. The repetition of certain phrases, like "rusted, worn out wheels" and "drowsily on the seat," adds a nice touch and enhances the poetic effect.
  
  One suggestion for improvement would be to vary the rhyme scheme throughout the poem. While the consistent AABB rhyme scheme works well in some lines, it could be beneficial to experiment with other rhyming patterns to create more variety and add a touch of uniqueness to the poem.
  
  Additionally, it could be interesting to explore the personal experiences and emotions that the speaker has while riding the tram. Including specific anecdotes or feelings could further enhance the connection between the reader and the subject matter.
  
  Overall, this poem effectively captures the charm and character of the trams in Calcutta. The vivid imagery, rhythmic flow, and nostalgic tone make it an engaging and enjoyable read. With a bit of experimentation with rhyme and the addition of personal experiences, this poem has the potential to become even more captivating. Keep up the great work! more »

  LikeReply9 months ago