Hopeless Reflection

I stalked you,
I stalked her.
I envied her,
She had you.
But I was too scared to love,
and you wanted to be loved-
You said you were happy and that made me happy.

So I stepped back.
Scared of the unknown,
Maybe a little afraid of love,
Maybe because I found so much of me in you.
Out of sight and out of mind.
But I never stopped thinking about you.
Questioning everything holy...
I am happy I was drawn to you,
and you to me. 

I was no longer jealous of her, 
But I wanted you happy,
Messaging didn't seem to work,
So I had faith you would find it again. 
An awkward video chat;
with no goal in mind,
but I could tell myself "I didn't go down without a fight"
and maybe just maybe
you were the one who wouldn't get away. 
You big beautiful smile,
Soft voice,
Ending just as awkward as it started. 
I tried to go about my days,
And for the most part I guess I did,
But you still swam across my thoughts.
Everytime, I "let it go"...
The time was not right.

You are beautiful, 
Raw,
and flawless in my eyes.
Come what ever may, 
I was scared and didn't say....

Scared of the unknown,
Maybe a little afraid of love,
Maybe because I found so much of me in you.
Out of sight and out of mind.
But I never stopped thinking about you.
Questioning every thing holy, 
I am happy I was drawn to you,
and you to me. 

When we first started talking I was scared,
Not scared to love, 
But scared that you could be.....
I gave you time
But things happen for reasons,
We learn to love and to let go 

I was reserved. 
I was scared,
I found more of me in you.
That made me happy enough.