ATTEMPT AT COMPASSION

Who will ever be whom with unconditional loyalty I dare to let in through the secret gates of my heart in the heartfelt humility of trust? Who will be the fortunate chosen One who, with all-forgiving X-ray eyes, Can search me in search of the Truth, my most inmost child-self: Who weeps, whines, and in everlasting terror Seeks for evermore brooding excuses, For he is more interested in the paradisiacal state of peace, And in the firmly resolved compromise, Than in the fierce war, thought futile futility!

I would not have wished, who could believe me, to have been a hereditary bureaucrat, day after day, with this great cog-wheel world, and to have served my brave manhood with the aimlessness of Caracane! I would have liked no merit badges, no badges of honour, all the fuss for me seemed a vain effort! - Yet was it the hardest thing to remain a humane man on the earth's wheel, who was not tempted by the treachery of a corruptible personality!

- I would have preferred to have been a forester, but I dread the relentless skirmishes of ticks and beetles that hunt me, and the presence of various incurable bugs - or a strange herald who would have searched the humble and half-naked hills of far-off mountain ranges for the intricacies of human nature in the biting air of a pure hunting lodge. An enlightened mind could have created values for posterity, valuing nothing but profit, alongside unity of thought!

I do not like to compete, nor to force victory at all costs, I tolerate with patient humility, the last of the human emotions, yet as a loser I tolerate and let him overtake me with a speed that belies the supersonic age! Wonderful human non-stars more attracting Their loyalty's blind faith and unconditional sincerity show, Than glories' treasure-bearing bright jewels: firefly beetles!

The fundamental laws of human existence have become boring: the colourful and controllable flood of money that creates the necessities of life by absolute means, but without a fixed monthly payment, I could not pay my bills, even if they were multiplied, and the silent and unjust rent that condemns existence to captivity! Doubtless, laziness is no use to the ever-hungry thought-belly of my spirit, so it remains to carve out thought-provoking lines and sentence structures with creative hopeful faith! And the Pandora's hope that someone will take pity on me!