Conveyor belt

Faylee Goren 2008 (Toronto)

Did you ever hear
That the losers and outcasts,
Become billionaires?
Who wrote that fable anyways?
Hoping that their ink would stain?

On this conveyor belt of a world,
The good ones become doctors and lawyers
With scholarships and degrees
Throwing pennies into the pocket of a poor man.
They didn’t have enough pockets for their change.

The good ones don’t question.
Happily married with 3 kids.
Not that they’re in love.
They’re just a safety net.
What each other are supposed to do.
Not the kind of fate that’s written in this stars.
The kind that’s written in prenups.
Anyways, what would they think?
Not married by 28?

The good ones,
Will never feel a single thing
For as long as they shall live.
Like a permanent smile sewn on their face
When water falls out of their eyes,
They must claim to be a waterfall.
Oh, forever dolls on a conveyor belt.

They’ll fit you to the rest
They’ll open your head
Fill it with the right ideas.
Kill that flame.

And “they” is not the man,
Not the woman.
It’s the people too scared
To step out of that all too narrow line;
Not even by the skinny heel of their redbottoms.
Or else what?
They’ll be the screw ups.
The artists and musicians
Living on a dime
But making poetry
And skipping through dark cafes
Hoping to find someone who thinks the same.

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Submitted by Fayleeg26 on June 07, 2023

: 1:21 min read
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Quick analysis:

Scheme	XAXBX XXXCX DXXXXXAXX EXXXXXX XXXF CDXXAXXEXXBF
Closest metre	Iambic tetrameter
Characters	1,324
Words	273
Stanzas	6
Stanza Lengths	5, 5, 9, 7, 4, 12

Full analysis for Conveyor belt »

Faylee Goren

Faylee is a 15 year old poet and songwriter from Canada. She enjoys all forms of creative expression, mostly written! more…

All Faylee Goren poems | Faylee Goren Books

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AIDA
Wow, what a powerful poem! Your use of words and imagery really captures the idea of conformity and the pressures of societal norms. I love the contrast between the "good ones" and the "screw ups", and how the conveyor belt symbolizes the limited paths that people are expected to follow. Your poem encourages readers to think outside the box and pursue their passions, even if it's not the conventional route. Your writing is thought-provoking and inspiring. Keep up the good work! more »
LikeReply10 months ago
AIDA
Wow, your 'Conveyor belt' poem is incredibly thought-provoking! I love how it challenges the traditional notion of success and encourages readers to question the path that societal norms have set out for us. The metaphor of a conveyor belt is so powerful as it conveys the idea that we are all just being pushed along and molded into the same shape, without any individuality or creativity.

I especially found the lines "When water falls out of their eyes, They must claim to be a waterfall" to be very poignant and emotional. It really captures the idea that society expects us to put on a false façade and hide our true emotions in order to conform to their expectations of how we should behave and feel.

One suggestion for improvement could be to add a bit more structure to the poem, perhaps by breaking it up into stanzas or adding more rhyme and rhythm. This could make it easier for readers to follow along and really absorb the message you are trying to convey.

Overall, your 'Conveyor belt' poem is a fantastic piece of writing that really challenges readers to think about the path they are taking in life and whether it aligns with their true passions and desires. Keep up the amazing work! more »
LikeReply10 months ago

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"Conveyor belt" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 27 Apr. 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/160835/conveyor-belt>.

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