vices

I take these pills to numb my pain
I take these pills
I take these pills to feel happy and free
The addiction now seems never ending
Everlasting

Without these pills, I am scared nothing will go right
I have no hope and I think I can't fight it
I think I need them
I want to quit and be happy on my own
They have me in their grip but I have to keep going

I am not myself without my little vice
I'm not the same and I just don't know if I can face it
But I have to
I have to be strong for my future
I have to hold on
I have to prove the negativity wrong
And be my best self
Without this vice

I know I can do it
My inner voice whispers
but where is she when I'm in withdrawals
so timid and quiet then
But yet I will fight this
And I will win

Starting tonight, I will put the bottle down.
I will send myself so much self love that it overflows into generations to come.
Self love self love self love
That will save me.

~Tinita Yarris