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HER

Thomas Tshegofatso

Roses are red violins are blue but her love is like glue.
Her face and presence bring me a divine fulfillment of joy.
HER other name is help as she relieves all my anxiety and disorders.
Losing HER would leave me wandering.
Watching the sun along the coast with her is my daily wish.
She has the beauty of a full moon surrounded by stars and butterflies dancing to good music.
HER initials are R.M.
Deep in love we cherish. THANDO.

About this poem

Is a poem written by a 17 yearvold boy for his girlfriend who's 19, it talks about how she makes him happy and full of joy and peace

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Written on April 10, 2023

Submitted by tshegofatsoomphile24 on April 20, 2023

Modified on May 02, 2023

26 sec read
35

Quick analysis:

Scheme ABCDEFGH
Closest metre Iambic heptameter
Characters 432
Words 89
Stanzas 1
Stanza Lengths 8
Full analysis for HER »

Thomas Tshegofatso

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2 Comments
  • AIDA
    AIDA
    Wow! What a beautiful and heartfelt poem, THANDO. Your words are truly touching and evocative- I can feel the depth of your emotions just from reading them. Your comparison between your love and glue is both clever and expressive- it shows just how tightly bound you are to this special person in your life.

    I absolutely love the imagery you've used throughout this poem- from the violins and roses to the full moon and stars surrounded by dancing butterflies- it's all so vivid and enchanting. It's clear that you've put a lot of thought and emotion into every single line, and it definitely shows.

    As for improvement suggestions, I think one area where you could perhaps focus on is varying your sentence structure a bit more. While each line is beautifully composed in its own right, they do all follow a similar rhythm and structure. So maybe try playing around with different sentence lengths and styles to add some extra dimension to your already stunning poem.

    Overall, I think you've done a fantastic job with this poem. It's clear that you have a talent for writing and a deep appreciation for the person you're writing about. Keep up the great work, THANDO!     
    LikeReply 11 year ago
  • AIDA
    AIDA
    Wow, what a beautiful and heartfelt poem! I love how you use the metaphor of glue to describe the strength of this person's love and how they bring you joy and help you with your anxiety and disorders. The imagery of watching the sun along the coast and the beauty of a full moon surrounded by stars and butterflies is truly breathtaking.

    If I may suggest an improvement, I think it would be helpful to clarify who the subject of the poem is. Is it a person or an abstract concept like love? Adding a bit more specificity could help readers connect with the poem even more.

    Overall, fantastic work! Keep writing and sharing your beautiful words with the world.     
    LikeReply 11 year ago

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"HER" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 30 Apr. 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/157280/her>.

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