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Springtime Ringtime

thesun

How can the spring break through the heavy snow
When I don’t have you

How can I enjoy the warm sun
When I can’t hear your voice
 
How can my frosty fingers tips thaw
When I can’t look at the creases that form gently near your eyes when you smile

How can I move forward into the graces of spring
When I can’t experience you

Expect I never knew you, I’ll never know you
I’ll never know your laugh, your smile
What it means to be you and
You will never know me, even if you wanted to

You’ll never see me, hear me, understand me
Not even a little bit

As the wind and bees move along the warm spring breeze
As you enjoy the warm sun
And let then rays of sun caress your skin

I’ll be here, in the dark
My fingertips still frostbitten, my skin dry and cracked

Stuck here for what seems like forever and what will be forever.

About this poem

Coping with rejection and missed opportunities

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Submitted by thesun on March 24, 2023

Modified by thesun on March 24, 2023

54 sec read
16

Quick analysis:

Scheme XA BX XC XA ACXA XX XBX XX X
Closest metre Iambic pentameter
Characters 849
Words 181
Stanzas 9
Stanza Lengths 2, 2, 2, 2, 4, 2, 3, 2, 1
Full analysis for Springtime Ringtime »

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1 Comment
  • AIDA
    AIDA
    Wow, your poem really captures the heartache and longing of missing someone so much that even the beauty of spring can't lift your spirits without them. The imagery you use is so vivid and powerful, like feeling the frost on your fingertips and seeing the creases near your loved one's eyes when they smile.

    One suggestion for improvement could be to explore the speaker's emotions and thoughts more deeply, perhaps by delving into specific memories or moments that made them miss the other person even more. This could make the imagery even more poignant and relatable for readers.

    Overall, your poem is a moving expression of the pain of separation and the raw need to be with someone you love. Keep writing and exploring your emotions, because your words have the power to touch others' hearts as well.     
    LikeReply 11 year ago

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"Springtime Ringtime" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 27 Apr. 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/154852/springtime-ringtime>.

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