I Care Too Much

I care too much,

I care too much about what people think of me.

Never show it, they say; don’t let it effect you, they say.

Yet something inside me drowns in thoughts.

If they think im pretty, if I'm sitting the right way wearing clothes that look nice.

If Im sitting alone in a public place do they think Im lonely ? Do they think I have no friends ?

I do, I swear I do, I'd be with them but—

If they think I'm too much, too clingy.

I care too much about my presentation am I correct? am I doing it right?

I care too much about what I put online, if I'm spelling everything correctly, even writing my name on that dotted line.

Even the emails I send to my professors, are they professional? Do they think am needy?

Do I care too much? Do people care too little?

I can't find the answer, like a word about to be spoken, but doesn't roll of the tongue so esay.

And of course I know its not embarrassing for others to do these things.

Its normal for them to make sense, but I just dont want it to be on me, the attention they get.

I care too much about what people think because I know they’ll never say it.