Pretend

What's it called
when you really know
that you are not what people say
What is it that you don't show
hiding it everyday

Is it right to say that thing
or the other you actually want
or you could say what's ''supposed to''
and let the aftermath haunt

Am I being mean or rude or wrong
Or am I just being me?
Till when will this pretending prolong
I don't know what it's like to just be

It's been so long since I truly smiled
Coz that fake one is always there
I don't know if I actually can
just smile to those who care