Handling hurts

Drown out the cacophony with familiar music
Even with magic worn off, nostalgia keeps-
the fading memory of warmth alive.
Do a lot to keep busy-
Goal posts to mark the dreary journey
Off of the tedium they say is my fault
Try speaking out my feelings,
Then to appease their hurt from my words-
my words cause the feelings, they tell me
Always, it's all me
I agree, and yet do not.
I believed them about my life
And now I know otherwise,
Yet I sail along.
The only times I can swim away,
to see how far away from me am I
How far have I drifted away-
That far have I let them put me adrift...
I let them!
Let them.
Either join their mindless adrift
Or go under.
Down under looks passable every day I wait
Oblivion another horizon ahead
The weary arms and hurting mind
smile, seeing what is upon me;
I am afraid to smile today.