No more will

There's no more i will in any of my thoughts,
There's no more happiness, it's just dark knots.
I keep seeing you in my dreams,
But the only thing you hear
are some weak screams and tears.
In my dreams you're just like a dream.
I want it to be true, I wanted it to be true.
I said I can do it without you,
I wanted to do it without you,
then why does it hurt that much?
You said I can do it without you.
You said lies and truths,
you thaught me how to live and
be just a single hush.

I thought I heard you,
I felt i knew you,
I wished you to stay,
I wanted you to hear me when I say,
I love you.
But you never did.
I could never tell you the truth,
I wanted to live like a kid,
Just like you wanted to live your youth.

There's pain what I could never forgive you,
You brought colors in my life,  
just like the paint on the brush,
But now it's only a dark painting
hanging on the wall that is crushed.