My life after you

Some times the memory is too much to hold.
It breaks me and beats me and makes me fold.
The darkness in my heart has spread and consumed.
I can't possibly be happy knowing I don't have you.
I know that I failed at the one job I chose.
My selfishness is what caused your heart to be cold.
Every day I argue with my self about you.
Could it have been different if I knew what was true?
Could I have saved you? Kept you breathing?
Or was this event meant for bereavement?
No matter how badly I was consumed by my loathing
There was always a man, wanting to hold me
Your father"s heart broke as much as mine
You never think you'll just be out of time.
Every day he has fought to bring me back home.
He loves me so much he won't leave me alone.
To know its ok to be happy is weird
how can it be if you're not here
But love comes in so many ways
I learn this more and more every day.
So while there are days that I still hold this doubt
I know it's ok, cause you both have my heart.