Obsessed

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https://www.poetry.com/poem/144534/obsessed

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  Oceanloveisland

  I was scared of him and yet felt love. I assumed he was the one with the hatchet. In my grandiose delusion I was hoping he was the man I met online 10 years prior. I truly believed with meeting him in person I was marching to meet my own death. Finding the truth was that important to me. I realized though I was chasing my own inner demon. I realized over time I was potentially what I feared. I thought I was the nice one. Fear unchecked is really scary. Thanks for your comment. more »

  LikeReply 11 year ago
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    Symmetry58

    You answered what I had already been considering and that often times, not always, fear, too, is a construct of our own insecurities. Not that yours was in this or any instance, but rather as something to keep at the forefront of our reasoning faculties when seeking to assess others and our own circumstances. Fear is indeed a reality that can result from the outsourcing of trust we lay upon those we seek to offer ourselves to, but, as well, something we bring about due to our own esteem(ed) issues and pasts of emotional and cumulative baggage. I'm introspective enough to understand the greatest source of resolution can also be its own greatest adversary. The human mind is, for sure, a sight I wish I could behold. Stay gold, Amanda. more »

    LikeReply 11 year ago
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    Symmetry58

    I also consider when you say "I thought I was the nice one," the tumultuousness of seeking to self-assess. Comes to mind the old adage of "Pigs don't know pigs stink" when we seek to assess something from the very confine of a facility that brought us our own dysfunction and (in)ability to reason with, at, to or about our own states of mind at a given juncture within the span and scope of our journeys. When we consider that we are unable to even see, figuratively and literally, our own innards, how then can we possibly presume to be able to speculate a state of mind seeking to assess itself? We'll "pearls on swine" ourselves to paint the rosiest pictures of ourselves that we can, more times than not, because humans are that ego-driven and ego-based. It's an uphill climb to say the least. Anyway, I hope you're not too put off by my lengthy responses. I just like in-depth poetry and conversation. :-) more »

    LikeReply 11 year ago
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    Oceanloveisland

    i want to say “ditto” and my mature, but insecure side side wants to say as “same”. I’ll give them both a voice. Lol

    LikeReply 11 year ago
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    Symmetry58

    Multi-tasker. :-P

    LikeReply1 year ago
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  Symmetry58

  Apart from mad scientist brilliance, you sure as squat had me looking over my shoulder in fear that every woman I've ever scorned stood hunched with a hatchet at the ready waiting for an admission and an apology. I got a hefty, bellowing "WoWzA" as a best prescription for your crafty work, lady girl.
  
  Off I go to f*ck myself. more »

  LikeReply 11 year ago