Inhuman

I see young girls every day,
Unaware and doe eyed.
Was I one of them once?
So awfully innocent and happy?
I cant seem to find her anymore....
Shouldn't she be carved into my soul?
Or was she just a protective dome
shielding me,
From pain, from change?

I see young girls every day,
Naive and carefree,
But when i look around me,
At my tired and misunderstood friends,
I can't help but wonder....
When did all of it change?
From crying to our mothers to hoping no one hears the oceans of agony raging inside of us,
These fractured souls,
enclosed within soundproof walls of flesh...

I see young girls every day,
Energetic and hopeful.
Nothing like those around me,
Starving themselves,
Finding serenity in the darkness
of freezing nights....
Their beds no longer have
imprints of their bodies....
From when they retired for the night,
Without thinking of their fathers
calling them a disappointment.

I see young girls everyday,
sometimes in my friends,
Never in me...
Oh she died a long time ago,
No child could survive this.
My lungs inhale these toxic fumes
Of people I consider god
treat me like I'm worth nothing,
The smoke they breathe into me-
Entwining itself around my insides
Seeping into my pores
Until one day-
I become eternal...
But isnt that just a fancy word
for inhuman??