Disappear in path of heaven

Why isn't it easy to disappear?
Away from all sorrows and fear,
Maybe in the dark or in other dimension,
Away from all stress and tension.
Tired of handling thoughts and emotions,
Just want to leave behind materialistic attractions.

Enough of waiting good deeds to pay off,
Enough of learning laws of Kirchhoff,
Just want to turn my switch off,
As if I never existed,
I feel like my head's truly twisted.
Sometimes while doing meditations,
I feel some unknown sensations.
Maybe its all about activating the seven,
Maybe that's how I will end up in heaven.