it feels ugly

Sometimes I feel so sick, like mold on a dirty window seal.
It feels ugly, really ugly.
Almost like an old porcelain doll, so fragile her body lost movement, with dust covering her forehead down to her nose.
It's that feeling where your head is going to explode and you gut is on a guillotine.
you can't swallow because you might cry, just the same as how the forest is forbidden because you might die.
The way the invisible air impales a lonely heart,
ant you're not special anymore because you're loosing your smart.
The same loss as two people falling apart.
You can't listen anymore because it hurts to hear,
I try not to listen because my skin, It's getting sheer.
But does it ever matter to you?