Overwhelming Depression

All I can think about is how worthless I am
No wonder everybody seems to scram
Got my mind spinning like a fucking hexagram
Always feeling like taking a milligram
Maybe even a couple hundred grams
Feeling like I always ruin everyone’s plans
Can’t get my fucking head on straight
Life always feeling like a blind date gone wrong
Wishing I could hit a bong just to get rid of the painful thoughts running through my brain
I cant ever catch a break feeling like I’m locked up in chains
Got blood stains coming from every damn vein in my body
Never got the energy to be anything but a homebody
One day gonna end up like a dead body on the side of the road
Worth nothing more than a borrowed soul
To scared to even enroll to get myself out of this fucking black hole
Got all my feelings tied up tighter then an egg roll
Can’t even control the thoughts running through my head
Sometimes dreaming about ending up dead
Laying in bed fantasizing about death
Cause nothing else seems to matter other than getting out of this mess
Hiding everything with a nice dress yeah I tried that
Trying to wash away the evidence with a nice bath
Wishing someone would just hit me with a baseball bat
One time
Two times
Three times
Make it look like an accident no evidence of a crime
Letting people play me like a half-time game at a super bowl
To many thoughts to try and scroll
Running everyone off like I’m a death note
Always trying to find the right quote just to try and express how I feel
Can’t ever seem to keep a deal
Pain comes with a fucked up head
Yeah sometimes I just wish I was dead…….