Cries of Survival



I am here.
Living my life amongst you all.
But I wouldn't really call it living more like surviving.
I fight this fight against my mind just so I can feel sane.
I've done therapy.
I've done meds.
I've tried positive thinking, reassurance, realizing and visualizing.
But my brain is scrambled.
I am in shambles of how I can't even win this fight against my own mentality,
I can't stand myself sometimes.
I've tried the conventional way, the unconventional way, but no way seems to be the best way.
So now I live a life of a stoner, but only really surviving off the stoner ways of life.
I don't know what I would do if I didn't have weed in my life.
You call me trouble stuck in your own bubble while you blind yourself to my struggles.
While some people live in high society, I live in low society, living with the oddities of my struggles in my beliefs, while you get to sit there and question my abilities.
Some of us with mental health issues that turned to worse things than weed,
I can't believe you have the audacity to say that it's our problem and make it illegal?
People say things should be free, but even the free will of a mental health patient isn't free, because their mentality is their worst enemy, they can't even get help to find their true identity.
I'm crying.
I'm begging.
We're pleading for help so we can stop fighting and start thriving,
Can you not hear the cries of us surviving?
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Written on May 08, 2022

Submitted by Percyholman11 on July 24, 2022

Modified on March 05, 2023

1:29 min read
3

Quick analysis:

Scheme ABCDEFCGEFHIIFFJKECCCC
Closest metre Iambic octameter
Characters 1,410
Words 283
Stanzas 1
Stanza Lengths 22

Alastair

My name is Alastair Holman. I am 18 years old from Fayetteville, North Carolina and I grew up in a Native American household where I recently learned I conformed to the ideas of my family and couldn’t really be myself without anyone assuming I’m going against my culture. I am the oldest of four girls, three who I’ve taken care of as best as I could. I moved from my mom’s house in San, Antonio Texas to my grandfather’s house in Fayetteville so I could get better help for my mental health. Recently coming out as trans, it has been hard being accepted because as a Native it is assumed that I’m taking it after my white or black friends. The most inspiring writers to me have always been Stephen King and J.K. Rowling with my favorite books being Harry Potter and The Dreamcatcher. The most inspiring playwright to me has always been William Shakespeare and his most popular work that I love is Sonnet 18. Amanda Gorman is one of my favorite modernist poets and her work Live United: Truist and United Way are phenomenal. She is an African American aspiring poet who inspires me to believe that even as a Native American, I can do anything I put my mind to as long as I work hard. more…

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