Part of me wants to die

And Here I am
standing over a grave that might be my own
My mind split in two
one half, begging the desire to live would find me
Before death sends forth a welcoming hug
Whilst the other half
Eyeing the bottle of pills resting on the countertop
For they might taste of heaven
Deciding if the blades my razor holds may find more comfort in my skin
If this lighter was meant to burn through my flesh
And not to flame candlesticks
And since I cannot seem to differentiate between my two selves

I plead for you to come in time to save me
 For one of my two halves is in desperate need of help