Judas is female

JUDAS IS FEMALE

Women when did we get here
A place where our love turns into a boomerang
Goes out into the world just to return with each other's men
When
Did the pheromones of men we did not join holy matrimony in
Reek from our skin
When betrayal arrives in an anatomy that resembles your mother
Your discernment spirit becomes harder to listen too
So we wine and dine
breaking each other's bones and bodies
As a form of bread
Betrayal has become our messiah


I was only 10
When saying grace felt like blasphemy
Amen's too busy burning to make it too heaven
Judas set or house on fire, but everyone was concentrated on adjusting the air conditioner
My siblings and I have been smokers since
Too young to question, why vows are said if not meant, till death do us part
but why stay if the parting happens before the death
Too young to ask why we have been burning my mother's tongue to keep my father's feet warm

Today you all are invite to the last supper
Seated on right hand of the father
is my father's lineage
kids that did not heal
His own Father too busy absent to teach table manners
So everyone eats from the pots
Their traumas are seen in the manner they eat
napkins and utensils are foreign things
So leaving stains on their kids is an inevitable thing
When my mother loves my father
she is also parent to the boy inside who is still learning to be loved

Through this all, my mother is still saying grace
On the left there it sat
Coiled inside my father's chest
Judas knows the way to a man's heart is through his traumas
So she plays with the lost boy inside my father
What is man trapped inside his childhood

Still, my mother continues to say grace


But
At that moment
My anger brews into a Molotov cocktail set alight by all this silence
A great urge to possess my mother's silence
Unleash Hitler concentration camp inside Judas's womb

So everything conceived will be of pain, I want her to feel like me

"Ashley," says my mother
We do not fight with our fists
We fight on our knees
Do you not know your father art in heaven
The one down here is just a man looking for refugee in him too
I go back into prayer
praying I too can embody the Godliness within my mother