Wings of Water

born with my arms tied behind my back,
I had to use teeth;
in the worst ways

Lived a third of my life as a stone,
as you chiseled pieces from me;
I’ll always have these scars

still managed to love others without teeth,
with the bite marks up and down my thighs;
Had to become more statue than me

I remember the morning you filled the pockets of my jeans to brim with rocks,
had become a monolith;
Never to fly

just to be walked on till my earth became sand,
even with these wings you soaked in concrete;
still try to at least swim

not really sure why they call people who endure abuse survivors because most days I’m a handle away from surrender;
just drink this water so your not dehydrated again

The first time I've ever felt full,
someone called me fat;
Thats when I noticed the layer of skin around my waist

And just as I thought I could run,
it was right over the ledge;
so we don’t eat

The emptiness,
my friend;
if I don’t drink for a week maybe I can lose this water weight

I told myself if am small enough,
the pain would go away;
If i weight less maybe ill learn to glide

As I became lighter I never took off,
I could only stand still;
the pain wouldn’t go away

It’s not fair how many times he held my head underwater just to be told,
that I will never learn to swim as they do

they call people who endure abuse survivors,
lucky to float;
just drink it so your not dehydrated

I’ve ruined my life so many times,
people can’t see me drown;
in the emptiness

I keep trying to become whole,
know I may never be;
able to starve - the pain you always mistake - for me

And for seconds I have wings,
I am pretty, and I’m high;
And it wasn’t until I passed out that I realized that anyone can fly

because wings made of water should be drank