Paxil in a Nut-Shell

Paxil in a Nut-Shell
 
Alone in silence.
I can hear her screaming.
Blood curdling screaming.
I cover my ears but she wont stop.
I sob.
Please stop I beg.
She screams louder.
 
I walk to our
I walk to my empty room.
It’s been a week since he left.
I fall to my knees screaming through my sobs.
I can hear her screaming too.
 
A million knives stabbing me.
All with a name.
PAIN, ANGER, FEAR, SADNESS, BETRAYAL, DEATH, HATE, ANGUISH
One knife as sharp as the next.
WHY WONT SHE STOP SCREAMING???
Am I nuts?
 
I stare at the bottle on the table.
Paxil it says on the label.
They promised this would stop her screaming.
A little pink pill. I swallow.
She screams.
 
Wait. Hello? Where did you go???
No screams.
Only the echo of my voice.
I don’t feel the knives.
I don’t feel anything.
 
I can function.
I…is it really I?
Am I me? Who am I?
Why cant I feel anything?
Was that me screaming?
Did I get rid of myself???
 
I can function. I don’t feel.
 
I watch as my father eats his peanuts.
CRACK!
He opens the shell to reveal the nut.
 
Paxil is my shell. I am the nut.