Post Traumatic

I have PTSD
You may not see it
But it's there
Lying deep
at the bottom of a bottomless pit

It has such a stranglehold on me
I have thought of suicide
And yeah I tried
To overcome it
Singing this lil light of mine
But that shit don't shine...

Or maybe it can't
Because of this black hole
Filled with woes
The likes of which you may never kno

I have been left with depression
Greater than that left from sawed offs
Oh yeah, this shit ain't soft
Nah it's the truth
Because I'm dealing with shit that's been with me since my youth

See instead of growing up and shit
I thought about how many pills would numb the pain--nah F*CK THAT!! How many to just end all of it?

Hell, I used to race myself to distract myself
Even kept records
Fastest time to finish a bottle?
Quick