Gift Wrapped

Poem : Gift wrapped

My dearest baby girl….
I wanted to wrap you the perfect life
A box of sparkling happy days….
No tears, no fears, no sighs.
Only -
Nothing really fits.
All the best bits come with awkward edges…
Opposites.
Take Sunshine!
I wanted just the brightest sun
And in the night the brightest light of stars
No clouds or rain.
But then again I want the joy of rain and rainbows,
Slated thirst, (thirst?)
Cool bubbling, babbling brooks  
And juicy fruits, sweet and dripping
Joy.
So you see, …an awkward edge.

And things.
I started out with what you need
But found it tied to what you want.
So I packed that too.
And then  I knew you’d cry
Because someone,
Somewhere
Now had less.

I had hoped to pack
The most exquisite tasting foods…
They didn’t fit.
I could have placed the taste
But ‘exquisite’
Came with the gnawing ache of hunger.

I tried ‘peace’
It came with angst and anger.
‘Being loved’ I took back out again –
Another awkward edge
Of pain and being alone.
‘Security’ ?
That had to go…
I couldn’t lever it from fear.

Juxtaposed..
The room is strewn about
With all I’d wanted for your life
That I left out
Because all I’d want for you
Is twinned with pain.
God comes with the devil.

I say again
I wanted to wrap you the perfect life;
Of course I did
I am your father.
I would rather every minute that you live
Be wonderland;
A life of years
 never knowing grief.
But that’s not life.

And  so it is my love that in the end
I’ve wrapped a riddle
(With apologies it’s from the bible, loosely)……
A riddle, and an everlasting kiss:
There is no I in Peace
No I in Joy or Good.
There is no I in Love
No I in god.


My love,
I want for you the laughter, The wonder , The splendour
Of looking for the I and finding none
In
Mirror.