I pretend

I pretend I don't
but I always notice
the little wounds on the back of your hand
your thighs,
your arms,
your belly
I wish for nothing but to kiss that hand
to kiss the pain away
like our moms used to
when we were little

I pretend I don't
but I always notice
the way you bury your nails in the full of your palm
I can't help but notice how your fingers
Flex
and relax
Flex
and relax
And I wish to take them and hide them in mine
to blow on them like our mothers used to

To make the pain go away

I pretend I don't
but I know the pain
A rush of water spreading everywhere
Never to be stopped, never to be controlled
never to be over
Still, I want to make it stop
I want to throw myself under
hold it back with all my strength

Yet I don't
I pretend I don't see
Because I feel like I shouldn't
You make me feel like I shouldn't
Why?