Not Enough

Funny,how I am so successful in the mind,all I do is think and mostly I think ahead of time
What about doing, I think then I debate
After debate I sit around and wait
And for what I have two children I feel I have failed
I have no power, no goals, I am beyond overwhelmed
I have plans that I want to fall through
But my confidence is lacking and myself hate has grew
They say giving up is not an option, it's definitely a choice
Please point me to the person who created that voice
I am a victim of living in poverty
I am a victim of writing poetry
But all that I am, is only half of my exposure to
Pain,guilt neglect, lonely and confused where is the closure
Sores in my eyes, a knife in my heart, blood flowing like a river in my veins
Wipe my eyes, mend a broken heart, and allow the whispers of " you got this" soak in my ears and travel to my brain
They say who the blame?
Yes, you are right! I'm the name.
But who are you? So different or merely the same
I give chances in this life I maintain
Am I not worth love,am I only here to entertain
My subconscious mind, the universe and manifestation
Help me lord for I have forsaken you and abused your creation
I careless about this world or fighting for my nation
I am trying to deal with my irritation
And your judgemental children and allegations
I do have faith it might seem partially
But I am human, some of this is a part of me
They say you can be a product of your environment
But I am a product of the knowledge I was born with
I have yet to reach my proudness
But I can say nonetheless
I believe in my God and myself
I say my life at this moment is not enough
And depression has ran me rough
But I am smart, adventurous, amongst other stuff
If you ever feel like you not enough just look me up
My reflection is only the beginning of a perfect shadow
I will make my God proud from the muscle in my arm to the bone in my elbow
I will stop thinking and get up and be successful and stop blaming myself and being regretful
Because I am a woman, I am beautiful and I am a mother
I will let that ring for now and forever, especially to my daughters
I am not enough and I never be
Because my journey to success is not even half of me!