I know whyish

How do I feel? It's hard to say.
When all i can really think is
I'm supposed to be okay.
I don't know why i feel empty and angry
I don't know why im tired when all i do is sleep
All i know is i don't like to dive in deep
I know i busy myself with pointless things
All because I panic when I start to think.
I know i like to be alone, i know that it damages me
Knowing that I have anxiety.
I don't know why i'm scared to be around even the closest of friends
I do know that i don't want my friend circle to expend
Everything is overwhelming
Even the smallest of things
And even though its hard i have to focus to breathe
I don't know why i get panicked when i sit still for to long
I don't know why my patience isn't strong
I don't know why i get annoyed
I don't know many things leave me feeling destroyed
I know i don't like loud noises, i know small things make me jumpy
I know i'm not fragile, i know that listening to slow things make me grumpy
I know i don't like asking for help
I know i'm always looking for validation
Receiving it leaves me feeling intoxicated
I know im scared of the voices in my head
That constantly bring a feeling of dread
It's hard to explain the way i feel
Because in my reality it's no big deal
I both know and don't know why.