I am trying

Just so you know, I’m trying.

To make all a’s for you because a “c” isn’t enough.

Just so you know, I’m trying.

If you just listen, don’t judge me. You would know why I’m not okay.

But just so you know. I am trying.

To hold on for my sister because I know she still needs me.

To act more like a lady.

To not like my gender because I might go to hell.

I know I've told you once before but so you know, I am trying.

I’m sorry I can't shower but once every week. My energy is taken.

I'm sorry my door is held shut by dirty clothes. My energy is taken.

But still, I'll try to push those clothes around so you may walk in.

Still, I try to at least remember deodorant.  

Because as I said before. I'm trying.  

Though my hair comes out in clumps.

And a stench comes from my body.  

I will always try.