Wish Upon The Stars

I miss him I'm clueless why he treated me bad but he also treated me so good. I miss the comfort he gave me I miss his scent his touch his smile I miss the way he would laugh at all my jokes when they weren't even funny. as if it wasn't disturbing enough I miss our toxicity and how we would make up the next day, I miss the adrenaline he would give me and the way he made me feel so alive, I miss the way his warm brown eyes would travel over me, I miss the way he was so protective over me and always took my side no matter the consequences, he haunts my dreams every night teasing me saying he's coming back, but as expected I wake up alone. I only wanted to hurt him the way he hurt me, all I wanted was an apology, but all he gave me were nightmares, waking up in a cold sweat, curled up in a fetal position tears running down my face to the point I can't tell if it is sweat or tears, Im sleep deprived because I don't want to be lied to anymore, I don't want to be hurt anymore, he's in my mind seeping from my heart to my veins soaking my blood and surging into my head, it's like cancer poisoning me, but instead of losing my hair I'm losing my mind, every time I turn around I see him, his shadow is always lurking behind me. He's a part of everything I see and do. When I see him all I can do is pear at him with my green eyes envious of the way he no longer yearns for me, it just hurts but I can't stop wishing.... and that's all it will ever be.... a wish.