My most significant

She lives in my head as an image of the past. A past that although mailable for me, happened and became regretful. But she doesn’t live with me and my image of her is only a shadow. While our bodies are fleeting, her essence I felt as love moves slower. But what is to be now? And then tomorrow? I may feel more satisfied to forget. Hungover from love and chaos what I yearn is her addition of order. Her name may be an omen to me for the rest of my life, but I don’t know what it will echo. The thought of her is the shadow of my passions and that is all I possess of her. Perhaps she knew me better and saw through my cheapness. While I sleep she is in my mind and I see what I would rather like to have happen and what I mistakenly did not do. She didn’t know I loved her and she doesn’t know I do.  My fear is if she found out that I would be just like her dog. I’m afraid of a future full of tragedy because I lost her, and right now my greatest actions would hardly get her to see me as an equal. I was once on her side and the side of her ego, but now she would see me as an enemy to bring in close. Hardly her hero now I am probably her mistake, and while I hope to be her Gatsby I would rather change his fate.