Nothing

Lately it’s been hard to tell,
Where I stand, as a man.
I feel doomed to fail, sentenced to a jail
Of isolation, my eternal damnation.
No sense of elation, no determination
A self incrimination of self depreciation,
I’m that lost cause, a hostage to myself,
It’s not the cards I’ve been dealt, nor pain I felt
But the anger that’s been building inside,
I want to feel alive, I want to feel alive.
But I look in that mirror like I want to die,
And I can’t lie, it weighs heavy on my mind.

I know there’s no time to waste,
Sick of feeling like a disgrace,
Like I’m trapped in rat race, racing
And chasing, the next pleasure
Which won’t measure to the endeavor
Of getting better. Let this be a letter
To those who can’t maintain, or even feign
That happy feeling you get in your brain.