SO MUCH

You so easily cast me aside for the narrative
to tell yourself to make me small.
Though in appearance my shrinking
creates the illusion you are tall.
Tall tales maybe what you spill
verbal defication onto my mind
in a spiteful mindless way
Deliberately callous and unkind.
Why reduce me to no more than ash?
Why cause me such perpetual pain?
Are you really that numb inside?
What unholy spirit has taken reign?
You do nothing but spread trauma.
You're surrounded by it every day.
Trauma is embedded in your thoughts
in every word you have to say.
Petty victim of your own uncaring dreams
taxing the same everyone you claim did slight
when cleaning up n your unholy messes
are second nature to fight or flight.
Ungrateful and entitled by
the abrasive aggression that keeps you as one
with yourself in isolation
it's safe for everyone.
Poisonous and leathally toxic
you have nothing good to say
you find value in your pessimism
by dismissing all your treasures away.
You do nothing and claim it's so
as you sit with your hand so open wide
Run from your own accountability
with your head crammed up where you hide.
Everybody plays a vital role
in why your unhappy today.
You cannot keep anyone's secrets.
On weaknesses you prey.
You're not a good person in the least
though once your heart was gold.
Tarnished by a raging spirit
that always did what it was told.
Free spirit I am
the thing you envy most.
My existence annoys every cell in you
You'd be happy of I gave up my ghost.
Scratching post I am not yours.
You think you know so much.
I'm repelled by the thought of you.
It's been years since we've touched.
I am used to disliking you.
My hope has dwindled away.
I don't even have the energy
to waste upon words I planned to say.
I'm so sick of being beaten.
I'm so sick of lack of regard.
I'm so tired of the flight and flight
or the freeze that makes you cold and hard.
Prickly and uncomfortable.
Mentally ill looking at a glance.
Poised on rage like it's the stage
Ready to perform if given the chance.
Bitching and complaining
receding and eroding me down
my diamond core can take no more
I dont even want me around.
For putting up with your childishness.
You can hold a job -good for you
But, nurse 101 sure didn't prepare you, Hun
for the men you thought you knew
is your track record really that bad
or is it something about you?
3 for 3 and then there's me
I know what I'd do too.
Run for whatever hills
I can get over and then let go
Hit the horizon like the floods rising
leave you all alone so
You can have your precious solace
Your empty colorless drab
Let you sit in screaming silence
think of the family and friends you once had.
All you do is bellow out
a sad and sorry song
you make no bounds to change your ways
your hearts been broken too long.
You don't care what is right
You deliberately did me wrong.
All I can say is hip hip hooray!!!
So much for being strong.