Double-Edged Sword

A double-edged sword is known as the human.
I wish to be anything but human.
I wish to be box jellyfish only dangerous when touched.
I want to leave my life swimming and minding my own business.
I wish to be one of the immortal Jellyfish that beautifully glows in the darkness of our world for I fear death and darkness. Still, I am human, so death and darkness are inevitable.
I am human and come with a double-edged sword known as my heart.
This heart of mine can be filled with evils and destruction but within my heart, I comfort and prays for those in need.
My double-edged heart of mine seeks money, possessions, sex, and whispers hatred but my heart also wants a quiet life where nothing is about money and possession but love.
I seek to destroy and inflict a great amount of pain on those who hurt me but my double-edged wants to forgive and hope to forget but forgetting is not an act easily achieved without the assistant of drink, class A drugs, or memory problems so I shall dig the sword of mine into my flesh.
I am a double-edge sword capable of thinking both good and evils but history and life tell us that some humans can be a one-sided sword dedicated to doing only think and know evil.
I still want to be Jellyfish ready to sting those who are not careful and unware but I am a doubled-edged human and I pray my good side keeps winning over my bad side even though my good side can be sometimes dull and need sharpening.