Split personality

I sit alone a light shines bright.
 I'm startled at the vision the other side of fright.
 Here I am but there I am.
 I smile but it's up side down I know they stare they see my fear..
there every where.
 I can't 123 your not here but your there.
 Why do I hear you but they can't here you?
plz be true im back but am I really or is this me falling in between a crack.
 im here plz see me I know u can you act like you dont see me your not here but your everwhere.
 I whisper to Myself  your ok don't fall astray questions ask wher you really here?
 I feel happy but sad
little but mean
 I go from hyper to obscene  in 2.5.
 The little in me wants tuddles, the big in me want strength, The lady in me let's call her 3 she like the pain to hurt to see u bleed your screams are her fire ready to ignight.
But number 2 she wants to be mommy to love and cherish share a life.
Number 1 all she want is to be a wife support and love thy husband. Some one to share her life with but what if 123 she's really there or 321 she was never near.