Analysis of This is a narration of my existence

THIS IS A NARRATION OF MY EXISTENCE
(Warning! this is a massive poem, very very long!)

(part 1- the cottage home)

This is the complete narration of my existence
none of this wild tale will not have any pretense
it begins when I entered the 'cottage' home
three years old was i, no bigger than a gnome
it was the start of the mental abuse upon me
'cause I was different from the others, you see
I did not even care if I played with dolls or cars
with my fingers I made characters from mars
the 'cottage' home was run by the government
controlled by the social welfare department
in the sixties much mismanagement occurred
and many unappropriated staff were referred
so everything that went on I do not remember
but one 'cottage' parent, ooh! I never forgot her
she enjoyed tormenting me nearly every day
the skies to me then were always dull and gray
the other children were convinced of her belief
that I was a retarded boy and a little lying thief
was taunted everyday by them until I got mad
I threw tantrums, they said my brain was bad
the 'cottage' parent would at times play nice
then suddenly thrash me with a big belt, thrice
other moments she would take me in her room
drop my pants so she can hit me with a broom
one day she had a long cutting from a rose bush
and hit my bare legs with it, whoosh, whoosh!
the thorns embedded in my skin as I screamed
had that nightmare for years when I dreamed
she was a bad cook and when I refused to eat
my nose was held tight as she stamped my feet
to open my mouth so she could shove a spoon in
it clunked my teeth hard while she had a grin
my mouth forced shut, I was almost asphyxiating
I had to swallow that food which was disgusting
if I struggled too much, I was marched of to bed
and in the morning the previous meal I was fed
often this was repeated for the next few meals
of course, no body would listen to my appeals
even when mold grew on the food, I had to eat it
everything this woman prepared tasted like sh*t
if my hands was on the table, she would hit them
with a metal spoon or fork, for her, not a problem
on my birthdays no accolades and no sponge cake
rarely a present and got belted, for goodness sake
everyone would laugh and call me a mental case
I tried hard not to let the tears run down my face
solace was found being with my dog, Skip one
probably it was the only time I smiled and had fun
I would often go down to the nearby creek to play
sometimes that is where I wanted to really stay
many times I was locked in the kitchen cupboard
or the broom closet, umpteen hours I was ignored
little did she know I was quite content in there
going into my happy place without much care
I would escape into my dreams of blissful lands
of wondrous delights of living without demands
then it was interrupted by a strong tug of my ears
which brought me back to reality and my fears
the woman found many ways to find punishment
that did affect somewhat my mental development
from slapping my face and twisting my little finger
to putting my hands in a washing machine wringer
she banded me many times with a straw broom
and all weekend she would lock me in my room
when I could I would seek refuge in a tall tree
sitting up top dreaming that I was being free
many times I wet my bed because of all of this
the 'cottage' parent would rub my face in the p*ss
I was belittled as I had to wash the soaked sheets
word of that did get out onto the public streets
everywhere I went people pointed and giggled
at school, often I would get bashed and jiggled
especially the day I was ill and pooped my pants
the whole school shamed me, doing some chants
being hungry, I soon learned how to shoplift food
I spent those early years in a sad dispiriting mood
things got better when they took the parent away
but I was now in the habit of stealing every day
did get caught a couple of times with a crony
but eventually I realized he was just a phoney
I decided I did not want to continue the crime
because I was sure i did not want to do the time
the new 'cottage' parents treated me with care
right until it was the time I was to leave there

(part 2 – 'Ashendene' boy's home)

I went to a boys' home in the suburban mountain
where it snowed and a lot of the time it did rain
care and protection, not a correctional institution
some were for unfortunate reasons not prosecution
it was a brand new life for me doing new activities
and the food was really great, including the peas
but I still had to fight my way to be the top dog
I made it, but getting there was a real hard slog
once I clouted six of the bully boys in one day
I was not going to carry their bags no more, I say
onother lad shot at me with a slug gun from a tree
so I climbed up and punched him hard, you see
the staff took us on camping trips and excursions
and my face began to show some new expressions
we went dancing and chasing girls at the local hall
the band played bush music and we all had a ball
Skip one enjoyed the freedom of the open land
and some staff were there to give a helping hand
I improved in school and even got my first 'A'
that made me feel I had achieved something, hey!
but there was some sad moments that come about
like skip was scared under the bus by a boy's shout
it was full of camping gear when it ran over her
two broken legs, internal bleeding, she did suffer
for two days the vet tried to save her valiantly
but died on the table, thirteen years old was she
also when me and another boy helped stop a suicide
but a few years later that lad ended up 'on the inside'
by the time I left the boy's home, I was seventeen
to get out into the 'big wide world' I was quite keen

(part 3 – life in the suburbs)

I moved into a monk's religious residence to dwell
it was a strange place and it had a peculiar smell
being god-fearing is all they were about, not caring
but they could not handle me, because I was daring
I did not stay there long and moved in with a chum
my first job was in a clothing factory, it was glum
they were supposed to teach me as a fabric cutter
but was used as someone to clean up all the clutter
I was the only male apart from the Jewish owner
who treated me like a fool, again I became a loner
but most of the women were European and happy
they were hard to understand but it was not crappy
on the weekends I went to watch the 'blues' play
watching the football, drinking cold beer all day
eventually I lost my job and moved to another spot
where unemployment and drugs were around a lot
I was in a bungalow at the back of a rented house
which I shared with a diminutive attractive mouse
in a local supermarket I got some employment
at first I was happy, it gave me lots of enjoyment
a dairy and frozen manager I promptly became
but after a few months things ended up a bit lame
I took a pretty cashier out for a night of dancing
it was not to the married head manager's liking
as he wanted her and he became jealous of me
I was late twice and that was his chance to be
to sack me to rid of me so he could get the lass
but she was not wanting to be with him, so alas
within a week she was fired, I never saw her again
except at one time I saw her on the suburban train
also at the supermarket I had met my friend, Tony
and another mate, Kevin, who was large and funny
biweekly I cashed their unemployment cheques
and saw them sometimes at the local discotheques
when I lost my job I attended at a 'drop in' center
it was for all the unemployed to gather together
eventually I moved into my friends' rented room
on the first day I tripped over the straw broom
the three of us were inseparable, parties and drugs
even had connections to the underworld thugs
everybody knew us as 'the three stoned weirdos'
drinking, drugs, parties, girls, cops, anything goes
fortunately, we did not get into many fist fights
I suppose that because we were stoned most nights
we did have lots of fun but there was a bad side
I saw a stabbing, people robbed, friends 'inside'
a murder happened with a bullet from my place
tony's brother was injured, the other shot in the face
many people I knew then did not survive this drudgery
I began to feel a need to escape and set myself free
and decided to go and find my mum near Mildura
the 'stoned weirdos' partied one last time with a hurrah!

(part 4 - Merbein)

I caught a train to Mildura, bummed around the streets
looking for employment, for my mum and some eats
eventually I found a rented room where I could stay
a brand new world did opened up to me on this day
my mum was happy to see me after all these years
I finally got to know her, yes there was some tears
also received some work in Merbein on a local farm
and made a quite few friends with my likable charm
for the next few years grapes were part of my life
and learned to keep clear of the bad seeds of strife
some of these friends became my long term family
Lil, Sharon, others and someone called Knowlsie
work and play,we all had some great times together
I was happy and I hoped this life would last forever
at twenty three I decided to go and play football
even though people thought I could not play at all
and they said I would useless and never make it
bu it fell on to deaf ears I did not listen to that sh*t
so I went to South Mildura and became a legend there
on and of the field I had never been popular anywhere
first game was against Merbein, my heart did pound
I played with fire in my heart, I was 'best on ground'
during that year I had a work accident, oh, by golly
I fell from ten feet high very firm onto a metal trolly
and one hundred kilograms of wood fell on top of me
ended up damaging my spine in a few places you see
and I knew I will be for life, always be in great pain
I still walked away from it and played footy again
I won a trophy for the most improved participant
“Chucka”, my nickname, “Chucka” they did chant
also I played cricket and was always wicket keeper
and when batting my main stroke was the 'sweeper'
did tae kwon do and tried to join the reserve army
some people thought I was crazy, weird and barmy
my mates knew me better as Mad Mick in a good way
and had a new dog, Skip two, I loved her everyday
she would go visit everyone I knew in Merbein town
but when she was seven a drunk driver ran her down
Skip two died in my arms as I carried her home, sad
the drunk tried to sue me, “f*ck you” I said, the cad
not long after this I left town and went back to the city
to start again to find a life for myself without pity

(part 5 – from Merbein to Cairns in eight days)

during my stay in Merbein my friends and I went a trip
Cairns was our destination, even took my dog, skip
there were five of us long haired hippies, except 'Guru'
four dogs, two old cars and a motorbike went too
it was after a harvest season when we left Merbein
on our way to a northern place we had never been
we left with cheers of a yippie, and a hip hip hooray
and departed sometime around the twentieth of May
we drove through Balranald, Hay, and Goolgowie
because we drove all night there was not much to see
Wyalong, Forbes and Parkes we did not get to know
but in the morn we rested on a golf course in Dubbo
Gilgandera, Gunnedah and Tamworth we gave a miss
at Cofts Harbour we only stopped to have a good p*ss
we camped overnight not far from the town of Dorrigo
then we continued on our way to Grafton and Casino
saw the small townships of Kyogle and Woodenbong
traveling towards Warrick, Guru began to sing a song
and I nearly got assulted in Killarney by a cowboy
through Toowomba I listened to Guru's song with joy
we had a quick look at Dalby, Kingaroy and Murgon
then continued past Monto, Biloea and Rockhampton
we tried to find a good friend in a town called Gayndah
and we even went close by a small place named Banana
we went through Mackay, and Proserpine without care
then we quietly breezed through the township of Ayr
at Bowen we had stayed at Pommy John's for the night
and boy driving through Townsville was a big fright
we did not bother about stopping at Ingham or Tully
through Innisfail, onwards to Cairns down in the gully
the complete trip took us approximately eight days
after a while, we all had soon parted in our own ways

(part 6 – the sawmill)

another time while I was still in Merbein I went to Sydney
to try and catch up with a girlfriend who had just left me
no luck, instead I decided to go and visit my male sibling
he got me a job at a saw mill, I was glad to be working
in a place named Combeinbar in Gippsland, Victoria
only fifteen fibro homes were only in the whole area
a house was part of the employment in this tiny township
there was plenty of room to run around for the second skip
at first I was stacking timber lengths in piles for the mill
it did snow a few times and I had to get used to the chill
then one day I was put onto the docking saw permanently
cutting the lengths as required, I enjoyed it immensely
I met Anne there who became my girlfriend afterward
and I began to feel my life beginning to march forward
but so much drama did occur in this small sawmill town
a couple of affairs, some accidents, fighting went down
my neighbour's son shot at Skip a few times but missed
the dad only needed only two drinks to get so p*ss*d
I went to talk to him about his son near the band saw
he laughed and told me to ''sod off'', I got really sore
I grabbed and pushed him near the saw, I turned it on
threatened him to do something about his brash son
my brother intervened and had a word with the dad
after that the father and son with me were not too bad
every male except my brother somehow crashed a car
those logging roads were bendy and all gravel, no tar
I rolled my utility close to the next town after a party
Anne's dad spent many hours fixing the car for me
two lads from Moe came and caused some commotion
for Anne's family and I with some jealous emotion
one day they choked Anne's dad, and hurt his crown
and everybody then ran the troublemakers out of town
a rumour was heard about the closing of the sawmill
Anne and her family left town, that was a bitter pill
I did not go with them, it was sad to see Anne depart
I knew that she would always be in my loving heart
eventually it was confirmed, the closure of the place
I enjoyed work and living there, sadness on my face
I packed my ute with Skip and drove back to Merbein
so another slice of life and characters I have seen

(part 7 – 'Ashendene reunion)

I went to the boy's home reunion in my old utility
while I was still in Merbein, and Skip came with me
it was good to see some of the staff and residents
remembering the good times and special moments
only the lads who arrived, made it somehow in life
all the others had got themselves into a lot of strife
we had a bar-b-que with the trimmings and beer
at the speeches everyone gave a great big cheer
we all moved inside for the evening to continue
some eventually left until there was only a few
a boy came to me to say there is a tree on my car
when I saw this I threw my can of beer so far
I had parked my car under a large sugar gum
and the sight I saw made me feel very glum
those trees shred ailing branches on still days
and from above one huge limb fell a long-ways
it was approximately as wide as a tree trunk
amazingly how no one heard the big 'kerplunk'
about eighty feet it fell onto the vehicle's cabin
it crushed it flat that there was no way to get in
the tailgate was split in two from the heavy weight
you could the wheels pushed in the ground, mate
just before I was thinking of leaving with a cheer
but someone enticed me to have another beer
if I had not that drink, I would have been dead
sitting in the ute as the limb crushing my head
the utility was a total write off, nothing I can do
so back to Merbein, they flew me and skip too

(part 8 – Shepparton)

Shepparton was another time away from Mebein
and it was a municipality I never before been
I only stayed a few months in that busy city
I did not like it there, it felt so grimy and gritty
Anne and her family had only just moved there
I wanted to get back with her cos I missed her care
but she had found someone new to love and be happy
this was the last time I saw her, changing a nappy
I never forgot her pretty smile and European looks
and do remember how I helped her read some books
I bought a second-hand car to go to Merbein again
leaving on a bittersweet day in the pouring rain

(part 9 – Melbourne – the hills)

after Skip died I decided back to Melbourne town I go
feeling lost and sad, my heart felt at an all time low
I lived at my friend, Bob's place, in the hills once again
he was an 'old school' biker and drove a suburban train
his partner, Lizzie, was an old girlfriend from the past
it was only for a few months, our relationship did last
she did not like living in Merbein and missed the city
it was a sad time when I saw her on the bus to Sydney
I was not at Bob's long as I had found another place
in a triple story dwelling on the the mountain's face
and I joined the local football and cricket teams also
I was at my fittest health as far as I can remember so
one day I met my future wife, Kathy at a train station
seeing her gave me this wonderful loving sensation
it seemed like as dreary and dull as any other Monday
as I strolled towards the station to catch a train that day
like usual I saw the blank unsmiling faces of the public
thinking about going to work was making my brain tick
thirty minutes at the station but no train did not arrive
no one moved from their position, were they alive?
all their faces did not change except a pretty woman
even put a smile on my Monday morning face, oh! man
I admired her smile, brightening up this ugly facility
as we all were waiting for the train to the municipality
I saw a young man switched on his portable radio
and the newsreader said the suburban trains are no go
everyone left the station as he mentioned the strike
I made sure I was near the girl I was beginning to like
it was at the bus stop when I spoke to her this day
and for a very long time this was the best monday
from that moment my mornings became more bright
looking forward to see her smiling face in the light
it was not long after that I asked Kathy to be my girl
when she said yes, my heart went into a happy twirl
she was nineteen and still lived at home with family
her kin were not kind and messed up her mentality
treating her as a imbecile as I was treated long ago
her brother raped her as she was growing up so
and others made her do bad things against her will
some knew, but they did not help her pains still
the matriarch convinced the kin that she was all lies
but there was no emotion in Kathy's mum's eyes
money was the family's first love before anything
their souls were only attracted to the ''ka-ching''
I had moved once more to live with Tony again
Kathy followed soon to escape all her terrible pain

(part 10 – Melbourne - Essendon)

in Essendon we lived in an illegal boarding house
every room in there had at least one little mouse
Tony shared one big room with his girlfriend Sue
meanwhile Kathy and I shared another room too
chemical drugs were part of Tony and Sue's life
and eventually they did became husband and wife
drunks lived in the other rooms, only one we saw
he was Italian named Mario who was always poor
one day he tried to lock a drunk woman in his room
but she got out by smashing the door with a broom
she poke a hole in the panel to escape and run away
then we all saw her visit Mario the very next day!
Kathy, Tony and I did Tae Kon Do with Martin Hall
who was in Australia at the time number one of all
Tony played around a lot and soon dropped out
but Kathy and I still attended and stayed about
I umpired cricket and joined another football club
and I did not worry about going anymore to the pub
my footbal