Analysis of My Own Fate

I feel like sometimes, like where will I be, for example like who is still going to be in my life and remain closet to me. I struggle with thought and there are times that I forget the things that I have been taught. My mind feels trapped and wants to be freed, please help me lord to plant this seed, so that I may one day supply my needs. Please help me father I am on my knees asking will you teach me and lead me and please will you show me the light. I am young and I am old and I am waiting for more stories to be told so that I can show you father that I have what it takes to be bold.
I sometimes get a chill and then I start to feel ill and I start to think to myself it would be easier just to take a pill, that emptiness feeling fades away fast though because god has given me this voice and the freedom to make a choice.

The devil or should I say Lucifer as he likes to be called likes to play many head games and try to pull my strings, I just do not listen though, because that is not my future and I must be open to see what is at stake. For I am going to stand up tall and always be ready to raise my gate, and this is for those of you non-believers that think otherwise, I am in control of my own fate!