Analysis of The Modest Couple
William Schwenck Gilbert 1836 – 1911
When man and maiden meet, I like to see a drooping eye,
I always droop my own - I am the shyest of the shy.
I'm also fond of bashfulness, and sitting down on thorns,
For modesty's a quality that womankind adorns.
Whenever I am introduced to any pretty maid,
My knees they knock together, just as if I were afraid;
I flutter, and I stammer, and I turn a pleasing red,
For to laugh, and flirt, and ogle I consider most ill-bred.
But still in all these matters, as in other things below,
There is a proper medium, as I'm about to show.
I do not recommend a newly-married pair to try
To carry on as PETER carried on with SARAH BLIGH.
Betrothed they were when very young - before they'd learnt to speak
(For SARAH was but six days old, and PETER was a week);
Though little more than babies at those early ages, yet
They bashfully would faint when they occasionally met.
They blushed, and flushed, and fainted, till they reached the
age of nine,
When PETER'S good papa (he was a Baron of the Rhine)
Determined to endeavour some sound argument to find
To bring these shy young people to a proper frame of mind.
He told them that as SARAH was to be his PETER'S bride,
They might at least consent to sit at table side by side;
He begged that they would now and then shake hands, till he
was hoarse,
Which SARAH thought indelicate, and PETER very coarse.
And PETER in a tremble to the blushing maid would say,
"You must excuse papa, MISS BLIGH, - it is his mountain way."
Says SARAH, "His behaviour I'll endeavour to forget,
But your papa's the coarsest person that I ever met.
"He plighted us without our leave, when we were very young,
Before we had begun articulating with the tongue.
His underbred suggestions fill your SARAH with alarm;
Why, gracious me! he'll ask us next to walk out arm-in-arm!"
At length when SARAH reached the legal age of twenty-one,
The Baron he determined to unite her to his son;
And SARAH in a fainting-fit for weeks unconscious lay,
And PETER blushed so hard you might have heard him miles away.
And when the time arrived for taking SARAH to his heart,
They were married in two churches half-a-dozen miles apart
(Intending to escape all public ridicule and chaff),
And the service was conducted by electric telegraph.
And when it was concluded, and the priest had said his say,
Until the time arrived when they were both to drive away,
They never spoke or offered for to fondle or to fawn,
For HE waited in the attic, and SHE waited on the lawn.
At length, when four o'clock arrived, and it was time to go,
The carriage was announced, but decent SARAH answered "No!
Upon my word, I'd rather sleep my everlasting nap,
Than go and ride alone with MR. PETER in a trap."
And PETER'S over-sensitive and highly-polished mind
Wouldn't suffer him to sanction a proceeding of the kind;
And further, he declared he suffered overwhelming shocks
At the bare idea of having any coachman on the box.
So PETER into one turn-out incontinently rushed,
While SARAH in a second trap sat modestly and blushed;
And MR. NEWMAN'S coachman, on authority I've heard,
Drove away in gallant style upon the coach-box of a third.
Now, though this modest couple in the matter of the car
Were very likely carrying a principle too far,
I hold their shy behaviour was more laudable in them
Than that of PETER'S brother with MISS SARAH'S sister EM.
ALPHONSO, who in cool assurance all creation licks,
He up and said to EMMIE (who had impudence for six),
"MISS EMILY, I love you - will you marry? Say the word!"
And EMILY said, "Certainly, ALPHONSO, like a bird!"
I do not recommend a newly-married pair to try
To carry on as PETER carried on with SARAH BLIGH,
But still their shy behaviour was more laudable in them
Than that of PETER'S brother with MISS SARAH'S sister EM.
Scheme | aabb ccdd eeAA ffgg xhhii jjxkk llgg mmnn ooll ppqq llrr eess iitt uuvv wwxX yyvv AAxX |
---|---|
Poetic Form | |
Metre | 11010111110101 111111101101 110111010111 1101001101 0101101110101 11110101111001 11001100110101 111010101010111 11011101010101 11010100110111 1110101010111 11011101011101 1101101011111 11011111010101 11011101110101 111111010001 11010101110 111 11011011010101 01010101110011 11111101010111 11111101111101 11110111110111 111111011111 11 11010100010101 01000101010111 11011011111101 110111010101 111011011101 11101101110101 0111010100101 110101110101 11011111111101 11110101011101 0101010110111 0100010111101 01011111111101 01010111010111 101001101010101 0101011101001 00101010101010 01110100011111 01010111011101 11011101110111 111000100110101 11110101011111 01010111010101 0111110110101 11010111010001 01010100010101 101011100010101 0101011100101 1010101101010101 1100111111 11000101110001 01010101010011 101010101011101 11110100010101 01010100010011 111111110001 11110101110101 01010101010101 110111011111 11001111110101 01001100010101 1110101010111 11011101011101 111111110001 11110101110101 |
Closest metre | Iambic heptameter |
Characters | 3,701 |
Words | 693 |
Sentences | 28 |
Stanzas | 17 |
Stanza Lengths | 4, 4, 4, 4, 5, 5, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4 |
Lines Amount | 70 |
Letters per line (avg) | 42 |
Words per line (avg) | 10 |
Letters per stanza (avg) | 172 |
Words per stanza (avg) | 40 |
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Submitted on May 13, 2011
Modified on March 05, 2023
- 3:32 min read
- 107 Views
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