Analysis of Mister William
OH, listen to the tale of MISTER WILLIAM, if you please,
Whom naughty, naughty judges sent away beyond the seas.
He forged a party's will, which caused anxiety and strife,
Resulting in his getting penal servitude for life.
He was a kindly goodly man, and naturally prone,
Instead of taking others' gold, to give away his own.
But he had heard of Vice, and longed for only once to strike -
To plan ONE little wickedness - to see what it was like.
He argued with himself, and said, "A spotless man am I;
I can't be more respectable, however hard I try!
For six and thirty years I've always been as good as gold,
And now for half an hour I'll plan infamy untold!
"A baby who is wicked at the early age of one,
And then reforms - and dies at thirty-six a spotless son,
Is never, never saddled with his babyhood's defect,
But earns from worthy men consideration and respect.
"So one who never revelled in discreditable tricks
Until he reached the comfortable age of thirty-six,
May then for half an hour perpetrate a deed of shame,
Without incurring permanent disgrace, or even blame.
"That babies don't commit such crimes as forgery is true,
But little sins develop, if you leave 'em to accrue;
And he who shuns all vices as successive seasons roll,
Should reap at length the benefit of so much self-control.
"The common sin of babyhood - objecting to be drest -
If you leave it to accumulate at compound interest,
For anything you know, may represent, if you're alive,
A burglary or murder at the age of thirty-five.
"Still, I wouldn't take advantage of this fact, but be content
With some pardonable folly - it's a mere experiment.
The greater the temptation to go wrong, the less the sin;
So with something that's particularly tempting I'll begin.
"I would not steal a penny, for my income's very fair -
I do not want a penny - I have pennies and to spare -
And if I stole a penny from a money-bag or till,
The sin would be enormous - the temptation being NIL.
"But if I broke asunder all such pettifogging bounds,
And forged a party's Will for (say) Five Hundred Thousand Pounds,
With such an irresistible temptation to a haul,
Of course the sin must be infinitesimally small.
"There's WILSON who is dying - he has wealth from Stock and rent -
If I divert his riches from their natural descent,
I'm placed in a position to indulge each little whim."
So he diverted them - and they, in turn, diverted him.
Unfortunately, though, by some unpardonable flaw,
Temptation isn't recognized by Britain's Common Law;
Men found him out by some peculiarity of touch,
And WILLIAM got a "lifer," which annoyed him very much.
For, ah! he never reconciled himself to life in gaol,
He fretted and he pined, and grew dispirited and pale;
He was numbered like a cabman, too, which told upon him so
That his spirits, once so buoyant, grew uncomfortably low.
And sympathetic gaolers would remark, "It's very true,
He ain't been brought up common, like the likes of me and you."
So they took him into hospital, and gave him mutton chops,
And chocolate, and arrowroot, and buns, and malt and hops.
Kind Clergymen, besides, grew interested in his fate,
Affected by the details of his pitiable state.
They waited on the Secretary, somewhere in Whitehall,
Who said he would receive them any day they liked to call.
"Consider, sir, the hardship of this interesting case:
A prison life brings with it something very like disgrace;
It's telling on young WILLIAM, who's reduced to skin and bone -
Remember he's a gentleman, with money of his own.
"He had an ample income, and of course he stands in need
Of sherry with his dinner, and his customary weed;
No delicacies now can pass his gentlemanly lips -
He misses his sea-bathing and his continental trips.
"He says the other prisoners are commonplace and rude;
He says he cannot relish uncongenial prison food.
When quite a boy they taught him to distinguish Good from Bad,
And other educational advantages he's had.
"A burglar or garotter, or, indeed, a common thief
Is very glad to batten on potatoes and on beef,
Or anything, in short, that prison kitchens can afford, -
A cut above the diet in a common workhouse ward.
"But beef and mutton-broth don't seem to suit our WILLIAM'S whim,
A boon to other prisoners - a punishment to him.
It never was intended that the discipline of gaol
Should dash a convict's spirits, sir, or make him thin or pale."
Scheme | AABB CCDD EEFF GGHH IIJJ KKLL FXMM NXOO PPQQ RRSS NNTT UUVV LWXX KKYY ZZSS 1 1 CC 2 2 3 3 4 4 5 5 6 6 7 7 TTLW |
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Poetic Form | Quatrain (90%) |
Metre | 11010111010111 11010101010101 11010111010001 0100110101011 11010101010001 01110101110111 11111101110111 11110100111111 11010101010111 1111010010111 1101011111111 01111101110001 01011101010111 01010111010101 110101011110 1111010010001 111101011 01110100011101 1111110100111 01010100011101 11010111110011 11010101111101 01111101010101 11110100111101 0101110010111 1111101011010 110111011101 01001101011101 111010101111110 111101010100 01000101110101 11101100010101 1111010111101 11110101110011 01110101010111 01110100010101 11110101111 01010111110101 1110100010101 11011111 11011101111101 11011101110001 11000101011101 11010101010101 0100011111 0101010110101 1111110010011 01010101011101 1111010011101 11001101010001 11101011110111 11101110101001 001011011101 11111101011101 11110110011101 010010010101 1100011100011 01010011110001 11010100101 11110111011111 0101010111001 01011111010101 11011101011101 01010100110111 1111010111101 1101110011001 11000111110001 1101110010101 1101010011001 11110101101 11011111010111 0100100010011 010111010101 11011101010011 1100111010101 0101010001011 110101111110101 01110100010011 11010101010011 1101101111111 |
Closest metre | Iambic heptameter |
Characters | 4,300 |
Words | 790 |
Sentences | 31 |
Stanzas | 20 |
Stanza Lengths | 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, 4 |
Lines Amount | 80 |
Letters per line (avg) | 42 |
Words per line (avg) | 10 |
Letters per stanza (avg) | 170 |
Words per stanza (avg) | 39 |
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Submitted on May 13, 2011
Modified on March 05, 2023
- 4:03 min read
- 54 Views
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"Mister William" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 28 Apr. 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem-analysis/41248/mister-william>.
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